I am here....

Well, I am still here......

I guess that has got to mean something in this sin plagued world, doesn't it? It's got to mean something that I am still here, pluggin along...as slow as that might be and as draining as it might be. But I keep on.

My appointments went....well, I guess I can say they went well. My counselor is the best. I feel like he cares for me and listens to me. Something I don't feel I get in this world. Most of the time when people ask how you are doing, they are just being polite. They don't really care how you are doing. They are just waiting till you stop talking so they can start talking about themselves....or so they can interject their "inspired" wisdom for the day. My counselor is not like that. Maybe its because he gets paid to listen. Maybe because it is the method he was taught in school on how to do counseling. Maybe....just maybe....he cares about me. I want to believe that last option. It gives me a shimmering hope in this world. If he didn't care....he wouldn't have called me last night. He wouldn't have talked to me on the phone for around 10-15 minutes.

Then there was my doctor's visit. It went well. I was in a totally different mood than when I went to see my counselor. I was mad at my counselor's office....I was "low" at my doctor's office. But I guess you can say that it was a good visit. He listened...he acted like he cared. I really felt like he was concerned for me. That makes me feel good. Completely different than my last doctor. (That is another story for another time) He changed some of meds and wants me to come back in next week. There is a small possibility that I may need to make a trip to the hospital if things don't get better. He just wants me to get my meds worked out. I don't like that option, but if these feelings go on for another week, then I will try anything I guess.

This blogging...is really awesome. It is allowing me to write. That is something that I have always wanted to do. If I had a list of things I want to accomplish, writing a book would definately be one of them. Other things include starting my own business, starting my own foundation that reaches out to folks in need, changing the world, getting out of debt, and well I am sure there are others. Just can't think of them right now.

maybe I will blog later....we'll see