It's Thursday.....and I just got back from my first final exam of this summer session. The class was Intro to Public Relations. We did something completely different than what I was used to....and that is we did a group test. It was one of those convince the teacher to do it things. She agreed and we took the test. The exciting thing was that we all mad an "A" on the final which means that I will have an "A" for the class.
I only have one more day left for this summer session and then will have a couple of days before the next one, where I will have a biology and algebra class. Yipee! I hate both subjects and therefore dread those classes.
My mind is fried from the test we took. I was not very prepared (not that I have been all semester).
Which leads me to my next issue....I am becoming restless again. I am barely able to make it on a daily basis. I don't know if that is because the depression is coming and going or because I really hate where I am right now. It's not that I hate Evansville or even Indiana. It's not that I hate the university. I hate studying the things I am studying. I hate not having any sense of peace or enjoyment. I hate not having any stability in my life (which in reality, I have never really had).
I guess you could say that I hate my "lot"
Most would respond to me telling me that this complaining is vain (but isn't all complaining?) They would even tell me that its my fault or that I somehow deserve it, which maybe I do. Some would take the "high" ground and tell me to just relax and enjoy where I am in life, which I need to do.
However, none of them really solve my feelings. They get at part of it, but not really the heart.
I am not really sure why this struggle seems to be my only companion in this journey, but nonetheless it accompanies me as a dear friend would....Always there and never absent.
Damn the luck......or draw.....or....whatever.
Until next time.......
