Saturday, October 16, 2004

Beyond Borders

We just got done watching this movie. All I can say is: WOW! It was one of those movies that is sad not only due to the plot but also because of the scenes that are within the movie.

The movie showed so many pictures of starving refugees and victims of civil war. It was truly......eye awakening. Actually, it was breath-taking. I found myself totally moved by what I saw. There are some scenes with this little boy in it that......well got me to thinking.

What in the world am I doing for the "least of my brethern"?

Seriously....I am feeling like I have dropped the ball. I feel like it is the Super Bowl and I have just fumbled in the endzone. I mean, this movie was about relief workers sacrificing it all for the "least of my brethern."

What in the world am I doing with my life? Am I wasting my life, like John Piper warns? I have been on staff as a youth minister for a total of around 3 1/2 years of my life, with the last 2 being on staff here at Pellville. I have "served" the Lord. I have "done my duty." Why am I not satisfied with my performance/life? I answered the call and did what I felt God called me to do. I tried my best and gave it 100% yet I feel unsatisfied. I have a deep desire to reach the outcast of the world. I have a desire to make a difference, not only "in the Lord" but in LIFE!

I know that some of you may think that I have over-reacted. But I don't think so. I think that my reaction is normal. I want to make a difference in the world, however that may be. Maybe its as a minister or maybe its as a social worker. I wished I could join the military and serve my country but I can't. I wish that I was rich and would be able to devote my time and resources to reaching those that are without. But I am not. I am worried about paying for my electricity while there are those out there that don't get 700 calories in a day....BTW I prolly get 700 calories in a bite!

I think I am spoiled. I am like most Americans and have no glopal vision. I have no "sense" of what is going on. And for the most part I don't care. Now that sounds bad but what I mean is that my attitude reflects my lack of concern. I do care. I want to do something about it....but like most I know not where to start. I guess a start was when my wife and I started sponsoring a little girl in Haiti through Compassion International (http://www.compassion.net).

Man am I sick. I just feel like I am letting God down. I don't feel like I am making a difference for those that need the difference the most. I have always felt like God wanted me and called me to reach the toughest cases. I always thought that I would be a martyr for Him in Indonesia or some far off land. But then I started dealing with depression, among other things, and found out that most mission agencies won't send one with serious depression due to the instability of a mission field. So what is it that God wants me to do? Work in the inner cities of America, reaching the youth? Go to Sudan or Cambodia to reach those that have not? I don't know but I know I want to make a difference.......

do you?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

[p]As he saw one of his employees wearing red nail polish, he applied it for the sole of [url=http://www.chrilouboutinshoessale.com]cheap christian louboutin shoes[/url] a shoe thinking that it will have the effects he wanted . Search on the [url=http://www.chrilouboutinshoessale.com]christian louboutin shoes[/url] internet and you will find that many sites are selling cheap Christian Louboutin shoes . Women who can't pay hefty prices, however very [url=http://www.uschristiannlouboutinsale.com]christian louboutin sale[/url] much aspire to be stylish, spend sensibly . com



That is a truth that my aunt don茅聢楼忙陋聸 like wearing the high-heeled shoes ,but she like the Christian Louboutin Shoes and has Christian Louboutin Shoes . Use any exceptional moisturizer in it a couple of times before the initial consider . I think the most popular high heel's name is Christian [url=http://www.uschristiannlouboutinsale.com]christian louboutin us[/url] Louboutin . In yesteryear year, the modern York style technology condemned the Louboutin have got a special the sole exhibition . Christian louboutin boots are from brief to be able to lengthy, coming from gentle shade to be able to darkish shade, along with coming from towel for [url=http://www.chrilouboutinshoessale.com]replica christian louboutin shoes[/url] you to coat and leather.[/p][p]How you can Identify Authentic Christian Louboutin Shoes

Will you be frustrated any time you paid money for just a number of Christian Louboutin shoes and be able to found out that the shoes are fake as well as quality is detrimental . " The pricey shoes start at around $595 and go up from there . So, get yourself the right pair and observe how your feet sparkle and feel . Signature red sole has become the brand from the [url=http://www.uschristiannlouboutinsale.com]christian louboutin boots sale[/url] time when it appeared . Now Shoppers can buy christian louboutin [url=http://www.chrilouboutinshoessale.com]christian louboutin wedding shoes
[/url] on sale shoes at shops from the globe, as well as from internet shops and boutiques . Sabots

Mode d'猫聦聟t猫聦聟 devient plus compl莽聦芦te avec l'ajout de beaux accessoires tels que sacs et lunettes de soleil . Haggling quietly and due to earshot of other patrons enables some one in charge to get more flexible [url=http://www.uschristiannlouboutinsale.com]discount christian louboutin sale[/url] when agreeing to bargain . Every time when you see the celebrities in the sexy and fashionable pumps, have you ever had the desire to own a pair of that? Anyway, I do, and so do many of you.[/p]