Well it has been a couple of days since I last blogged. That has been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it gave me some time to rethink some things and for me to look at some different ideas that I have been having. A curse because I missed my daily interaction with you and missed my creative output.
Things have been pretty normal around here as far as events go. Nothing spectacular. Me - well that is another story....I am not sure how i feel nor how I will feel. I wrote a poem to express where I am today.......
As time slowly goes
My mind slowly grows
Closed
No one knows
My addiction to the trauma
Story played out like a drama
Not knowing if its fiction or for real
Hands from my eyes full of tears
Contemplating all my fears
Not sure how I really feel.
In all honesty
I can’t picture me
Without the animosity,
The pain and the misery
Its all killing me –
When will I ever be free?
Inspiration deceives
Often conceives
And breeds
Greed.
I wonder if my enemies
Wish I wouldn’t breathe
Which leads
To reprieves
For me.
I can’t see
Or believe
All the pain inside
My life
It feels like I died
And none of it can I confide
To anyone – don’t know why.
But I try
To carry on
Despite feeling all alone
With everyone long
Gone.
I’m done.
I’m through –
Don’t know what else to do
I always lose
It’s not something I choose
No matter how its construed.
No time after – no time before
Life appears nothing but a closed door
Or
Maybe war
Filled with blood and gore.
All my heart I pour
Until nothings left –
I can give no more.
I know some of you don't like poetry - and that is ok. However - this is the best way for me to tell you how I feel. Like it or not....it is real.
until next time....
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