Wednesday, September 29, 2004

I don't understand. Do you?

I am having a hard time with all this. It is hard for me to understand "why" all this has happened this way. Why did God call me to Pellville for this to only end in such a fashion? Why does God see it necessary for me to have this illness and vice? Why did God call me into ministry to start with?

I have always been taught not to question God. Its wrong they tell me. It is not trusting Him. That makes me wonder. Wonder whether or not they are right? David questioned God didn't he? He asked how come God wouldn't destroy those who defile the temple/sanctuary and defile God's name.

Why? Tell me Lord, why? Why has all this happened? Why do I struggle with this depression that covers me like white on rice? Why do you not intercede into my life on my behalf, or better yet on Your behalf?

Man this is painful. It hurts worse than anything else before it. But somehow blogging makes me feel like I am getting it out. Maybe I am.

Thanks Levi for reminding me that I haven't blogged in awhile. This has helped.

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