I have noticed that for the most part, depression is not taken that serious. Whenever someone finds out that I deal with depression, they almost automatically say something like: "yeah me too" or "yeah I have been through that as well" or "I understand, we all go through it at one point or another."
I don't have a problem going through the same things that I go through. Actually, it is quite refreshing to talk to people who have experienced the things that I have experienced and continue to experience. However, I seriously doubt that these folks have really been through what I have been through. If people knew the things that I have done and the struggles that I have been through......I think that they would back off of their statement and if they were honest, they would probably say something like "you are one messed up dude." Which, I guess for the most part, is the truth.
I am serious here. I really get perturbed whenever someone says to me that "we've all been there before." I mean it really, well I will just say that it makes me really really mad. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has a clue the things that I go through. I don't try to explain it because I know that most won't understand or can't understand or would be judgmental. But I guess that is what "friends" are for.
In my life, I have been diagnosed with oh, about 4-5 different things. The docs are to the point where they tell me that they just don't know anymore. They tell me that we must focus on the treatment and not the diagnosis. I agree. BUT, I must say that it really sucks knowing that I am so messed up that they can't figure out what it is. Just think how that would make you feel. "We know something is wrong, but we don't know what it is." Anyways, I guess that is the way it is supposed to be.
Sometimes I really want to tell people that it is not just depression that I deal with. I want to tell them that I have been diagnosed 4-5 times and they really don't know what the deal is. I want to tell them that I have been in the hospital at least 6 times in my life because of all this. I want to tell them that what kinds of medicine I have been on and the kinds I am now taking. I want to tell them some of my thoughts. (Talking about a horror movie) But I don't. I guess I prefer the nice clean cliches to the gasps and the misunderstandings that the truth would bring.
I mean, what would you do? What would you say? How would you respond?
It's a hard question......
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