Brokenness?

This has been something on my mind as of late. Brokenness before God. What exactly does it mean? Think about it. Say it to yourself. Brokenness.

I think that this is one of those words that we have a hard time defining. I mean we all "kinda" know what it means. Let me tell you what I think of: I think of being completely "broken" before God. I think of ultimate humility and honesty about who I truly am on the inside. Not who I try to be and not who I appear to be, but who I really am. I recognize that before God, I am nothing. As Isaiah said, my good deeds are like filthy rags. As Paul said in Romans, there is none good no not one. I am in that category. And brokenness to me is the point you get to, not out of pride but out of true humility and authenticity, when you say "God, you are everything. I am nothing before you and you and you alone are worthy to be exalted. I am sinful and fallen. I present myself as this sinner to you, for you to love."

I long for this "brokenness." I long to be humble before God and to be able to be honest about what I really am on the inside. Although I know I am sinful, it almost seems like I live each day forgetting that I am sinful. Brokenness takes our heart and reveals the true desires. Brokenness shows that, apart from Christ, we are NOTHING! This is what I want. I want to get to the point where I can live each day in the truth of who I am and what God has done for me. I am not perfect. I can't be perfect. Yet I spend excessive energy trying to be just that way.

Why can't I just be broken?

This is a desire that has been continually building in me. Everyday, I think more and more on this topic. Sometimes it rules my thoughts. It needs to, to make up for all the time that I have pushed the thought of brokenness out of my mind.

Do you desire brokenness? Do you want to be left "open" before God and are you prepared for what will happen when you get to this point?

"Brokenness, Brokennness, it's what I long for. "